Sunday, April 30, 2006
New beginning; New end
Every new beginning is a product of the past, an essence for the future. What does the future entail? It just but the route towards an end, probably an expectation (heaven, hell etc), something that terminates human existence.But hey wait, what's with all this philosophy talk when it's SONIA'S BIRTHDAY TODAY?!?!
And sooo the long waited day has come, the day where my baby finally finds herself one step closer towards adulthood; she finds herself empowered with the ability to purchase products that burns her liver, stains her lungs. Whatever the hell that is, it's a day's that special, something that probably that most people would yearn to have it really special, but always end up having it the other way round. But rest assure, I'll try to make it different for you! =)
To Sonia:
You know I still chuckle at the thought of you, of who we got together, about the kind of stuff we used to do in school. What was especially amusing were all those stupid things we said, did, and planning to do. I never saw myself being in a relationship with you the minute I set eyes on you. It wasn't love at first sight, but somehow at that instant something inside me told me that this girl was special. But I just pushed the thought aside and went on being arrogant, anti-social and definitely stupid in the process. Well, such a thin facade, a fine veneer could not help but peel and fall when I got closer to you.
I had this whole need to be around you all the time. I let loose of all my channels, of all my mediums of communication, just because I thought you might probably make use of one of them to talk to me, someday. And so I found myself turning off silent mode on my handphone nightly (still is doing so), signing into MSN for eons when the reality of it was that I hardly touched the computer during my course of time at home, SMS-ing you at times which I thought you would be able to see them at that very instant, and hopefully reply me. Hearing your voice, seeing you online, reading your SMSes were somewhat different. Maybe I was biased, but that was still the way I felt, and feel right now.
The above actions and feelings were but the product of this growing love I held for you, they were not the reason why I fell for you. Till date, I cannot truly unveil this paradox. I fail to find a chief reason why I love you, but as the clock ticks and time passes by, as experience has told me, I know that I want to be with you forever. That I find it difficult and practically impossible to function without you by my side. A subtle yet significant difference lies between 'missing you', and 'needing you'. It's not really alright if I don't see you for a day, or a few days. But it definitely is an issue when I know that I won't be seeing you again. Thus far, I hope that I've done decently well enough to make you stay by my side. Because truth to be told, I love you, I love you, I love you.
And then the story goes on and on, but it must stop, for chapters start and end. And here's a new chapter in this book of ours, one that is penned not by ink, but by the very heart and soul, of love and togetherness. And so this chapter begins now, with a little girl growing up to becoming an older one (note: not woman yet haha). And this older boy (birthday already passed =D) holding her hands, walking down some journey of sorts. For all that see us, it is but a journey. For all that sees us inside, it is not but a journey. It is more than that. It tells of the obstacles that both have to face, together. And you know how he will never leave the girl alone, for if he continues travelling alone, the journey is meaningless. You might as well die!, as quoted.
Albeit all of the long-winded talk, I'd like to really hope for the best for my baby. I understand that school has taken quite a toll on her, and I hope she excels really. Because that same part of me that told me that this girl was speical is telling me that she can do it. And I know she can, so yup, God bless (oh yes my denouncement is always made contradictory when you come into picture). I hope you'll remain happy always with me =) As for now, enjoy this very special day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONIA, I LOVE YOU!
posted@10:06 AM